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Mid Week Tease: Pharaoh’s Pleasure #MidWeekTease #MWTease
It’s Wednesday? Awesome! Because I have a little teaser for you from something written by my friend JT Handler. We’ve known each other all my life, and JT writes fun-filled M/M erotica that I’m pleased to feature this week. Pharaoh’s Pleasure will be available on Amazon next week and kicks off a new series titled Pleasures in Time that should prove very entertaining for M/M readers.
Some set up — in order to avoid his overbearing (and very handsy) advisor Gordon Pattinson, grad student Kellen Fox spends the night working on an Ancient Egyptian exhibit display. When he polishes a hematite scarab, however, something very unexpected occurs.
Enjoy, and make sure to hit the list after the teaser to see other great Mid Week Teases!
Kel noticed the hematite scarab had slid off its clear plastic stand. Unlatching the case, he carefully picked up the scarab and examined it. There weren’t any new cracks or chips, thank God, just greasy fingerprints that were definitely not his. Goddamn it, Pattinson, do you jack off with this thing or what?
Wrapping a corner of his t-shirt around two fingers, he buffed out the fingerprints, spending a little of his frustration in the action. Something clicked under his rubbing, and the detailed wing section of the scarab slid back a bit.
He froze. That’s not supposed to happen. Oh, fuck, tell me I didn’t break it. Dry-mouthed, he peered at the carving and saw the gleam of gold.
Whoa. That is not supposed to be there. Very gently, he pushed the wing section again. It slid further on what he could now see were carved tracks, exposing a flat slice of gold embedded in the bottom half of the scarab. Inscribed in the metal were three rows of hieroglyphs.
His fear flashed into a full body thrill. Middle Egyptian. Sweet mother of Horus, it’s fucking Middle Egyptian! And Pattinson never found it!
He had a sudden daydream about writing a paper on the hidden hieroglyphs, receiving academic accolades for his discovery, maybe even basing his doctoral thesis on them. He quickly came back down to earth when he realized that he’d still have to report it to Pattinson as the head researcher on Pharaoh Senekenre. And knowing that conceited jerk, he’ll take all the credit and I won’t see shit.
Beside, you don’t even know what they say. They might be the 17th Dynasty equivalent of a fortune cookie. Frowning, he slowly sounded out the symbols. “Amhemnet, first advisor to Pharaoh Senekenre, calls on you, O Ra, to hear my prayer,” he said out loud. His voice echoed in the empty hall, taking on an odd, hollow quality. “Help me build a bridge for Pharaoh, to continue his line. I beg you, Great Ra, hear my prayer.”
Okay, definitely not a fortune cookie. Amhemnet was the pharaoh’s vizir and architect, and supposedly one of the greatest magicians of ancient Egypt. It sounded like he had inscribed some sort of personalized prayer of protection for the royal family. Sliding the shell section closed again, Kel went to put the scarab back in the display case, and stopped when he saw a reddish glow reflected in the glass. Fire?
Turning around, his jaw dropped open. Hanging in mid-air not five feet from him was a shimmering orange ball of light. The thing suddenly flared brightly, and Kel threw up his hand to shield his eyes.
And then the light was suddenly gone. Eyes still shut, he heard a deep, rumbling voice say, “What is this place?”
Cautiously, he lowered his hand and opened one eye, then the other. Then blinked. Then drooled just the tiniest bit. Because in front of him stood a tall, muscular, absolutely freaking gorgeous man with caramel skin, wearing a linen kirtle and one of the most spectacular scapulars Kel had ever seen. Bold black eyes outlined with kohl stared back at him curiously. “And who are you?” the man said. “Is this a dream? Or are you some sort of god?”
Kel realized the man’s lip movements didn’t sync up with his words. In fact, there was a soft rumble of a foreign language under the English, like an overdubbed movie. Okay, I am either officially hallucinating from six weeks of exhaustion combined with a sugar rush, or someone who looks like a 17th Dynasty underwear model just stepped out of a JJ Abrams special effect.
Hallucinating seemed more likely, all things considered. Which was a freaking shame, because just looking at Tall, Dark, and Imaginary ignited a deep sense of longing and need in Kel’s balls.
“Yeah, definitely not a god,” he said, tugging his t-shirt down. “Those are the tenured professors. I’m just a graduate student.”
“A graduate student.” The man seemed to roll the words over his lips, as if tasting them. “You are a scholar, then?”
“Not according to my advisor.” Ken winced when the man frowned at the quip. “Sorry. Yes, I’m a scholar.”
Over his shoulder he could see the artist’s rendering of Senekenre. The long-dead man’s face matched the stranger’s perfectly.
Oh, this is getting better and better. “I know this is going to be a weird question,” he said, “but has anyone ever told you that you look exactly like Pharaoh Senekenre?”
The man smiled. “Well, yes, seeing as I am Pharaoh Senekenre.” His smile widened, becoming a thing of sexy delight. “Who did you think I was, young scholar?”
Kel found himself grinning back at the handsome man. “Well, a hallucination, to be honest. So you’re telling me you’re Senekenre. Fourteenth king of the 17th Dynasty. You’re a genuine Egyptian Pharaoh, and you’re standing in front of me. Alive.”
Something flickered in Sekenenre’s eyes, sharpening them. He gazed around the chamber, finally spotting the deconstructed bed, and went pale under the bronze tan. “Gods above and below,” he whispered. “It worked?”
“What worked?”
The pharaoh spun back, fear and excitement warring in his expression. “Amhemmet’s plan,” he said. “Have I traveled to the future as he promised?”
Kel blinked. “Uh…”
“He said he would use his magic to send me to another time for a single night.” Senekenre stepped to the display case holding the hematite scarab, pressing his palm against the glass. “It was the only way to secure a future for my queen and myself. He said that when the right man found the spell and invoked it, the bridge would be formed, and I would be transported.”
The words hidden inside the scarab blazed through Kel’s mind. Amhemnet, first advisor to Pharaoh Senekenre, calls on you, O Ra. Help me build a bridge for Pharaoh.
His mouth went dry. “Wait. You’re telling me this Amhemnet guy used magic to send you to another time? To this time?”
Senekenre nodded. “Yes, thanks to you. I take it you invoked the spell?”
“If you mean I read it out loud, yeah. I didn’t know it was a spell.” Swallowing hard, Kel forced himself to reach out and touch Senekenre’s arm. It was warm under his fingertips. “Oh, shit,” he whispered. “I’m not hallucinating. You’re real. You’re really here!”
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Mid Week Tease: Cross Current #MidWeekTease #MWTease
Hello, chumrades, and welcome to Mid Week Tease! This week I’m featuring anohter snippet from Cross Current (Olympic Cove #4), where our hero Matt winds up being abruptly introduced to the paranormal world. No pressure.
Enjoy, and make sure to hit the list after the teaser to see other great Mid Week Teases!
Matt choked on his wine.
Griffin leaned over and whacked him on the back as he spluttered. “You all right, mate?”
“Yeah,” Matt managed, grabbing a napkin and wiping his chin. “Sorry. Uh….”
He pointed at the beach, where a guy who could have worked as a body double for Chris Evans was climbing out of the surf. Shaggy blond hair surrounded a face that should have been on a romance novel cover, while the water slid off muscled arms and a perfect V-shaped torso, drops trickling down to—
Matt swallowed as the man’s naked and well-hung groin cleared the water. Jesus God, how does that thing not act like an anchor?
If that wasn’t enough, a sleek brown head also emerged from the water, letting out a ringing bark. One of the biggest seals Matt had ever seen thumped out of the water with the aid of powerful flippers. Man and beast headed straight for Dunn’s cottage, where Naked Guy dropped to his knees at the stairs, bowing his head. “My lord,” he said, voice rough and exhausted, “I come to ask a boon.”
My lord? And then Matt noticed Dunn’s expression. The amusement from the meal had turned into grim authority, while Ammie’s delicate features firmed into a more feminine version of her husband’s glower. Griffin leaned back in his seat, rubbing his mouth.
Matt turned back to the newcomers just in time to see the seal start writhing on the sand. It let out a series of pained noises, deforming as if something inside the creature was trying to get out.
And then the sleek sable fur on the breast split, a human hand pushing through it. The animal abruptly turned into a seal-shaped balloon that slid off the shoulders of a dark-haired man who crawled out of its skin.
Also naked, a hysterical little voice in the back of Matt’s head said. Although not quite as well hung…
The seal man got to his feet with an effort, looking drained. “Lord Poseidon,” he said to Dunn with a weary bow, “my name is Malcolm Muir, and I formally ask for sanctu—”
Before he could finish the sentence his eyes rolled up. With a gentle smile he collapsed face forward into the sand.
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Mid Week Tease: Cross Current #MidWeekTease #MWTease
It’s Wednesday? Awesome! Because I have a little teaser for you from the beginning of Cross Current (Olympic Cove #4). No, it’s not very sexy but I haven’t gotten to that point. Yet. Muwahahahaha…
Enjoy, and make sure to hit the list after the teaser to see other great Mid Week Teases!
“If you’ll sign here, please.”
Matt Taber wrote his signature on the indicated line.
“And here.”
Another line, another signature.
“And one last time.”
The same slightly scrawled name, black ballpoint ink pressed into grooves. The lawyer’s office printed out their documents on the nice heavy paper made for laser printers, not the thin general purpose stuff.
Nothing but the best for the death of a marriage.
“That should do it,” his lawyer said. He exchanged a nod with the other lawyer, their steps done in this particular dance.
Across the table, Matt’s now-ex-wife Nancy sat with her hands neatly folded, a politely blank expression on her face. After ten years of living with her, he still couldn’t read it.
Then again, he didn’t have to try anymore. Giving her a brusque nod, he stood and followed his lawyer out of the conference room.
“That went pretty well, I’d say,” the lawyer said. “Although I still think we should have held out for community property.”
Matt shrugged. “I don’t want anything from her.”
That wasn’t quite true. But it was far too late in any case. And God knew the last thing he wanted from her was money.
He nodded through the rest of the lawyer’s litany, agreeing to stop by the office for the final payment. And then he was alone in the granite-clad hallway, surrounded by expensive air and time that was counted in billable hours.
“Matt.”
He turned. Nancy stood at the door of the conference room, elegant as always. Today she wore a cream tailored jacket and skirt over a champagne silk blouse that would go straight from a divorce lawyer to her VP office at a major bank without anyone batting an eye.
The regret washed over him again. I loved you, I really did.
I’m sorry.
She pursed her mouth as if hearing his thoughts. “I’m not going to give you some ridiculous platitude about how this is the best thing for both of us,” she said, kind and blunt at the same time. “I wasn’t happy and I wanted out, simple as that. But I also know you’re hurting right now, and I’m sorry about that. You’re a good person, Matt. You’ll be able to find someone who’s a better fit for you.”
Matt let a slow breath roll out. “I thought you weren’t going to give me some ridiculous platitude.”
One black eyebrow rose in an elegant curve, her equivalent of a laugh. “You have a point. I’ll be back from Hong Kong in a month. Will that be enough time for you?”
“Yeah, plenty.” The house on Chinook Lane had been hers before their marriage. He admired the building, but never felt at home there. It was like living in something out of an issue of Architectural Digest. “I can swing by and check the mail every couple of days if you like.”
“No, I already put a hold on it at the post office. But I appreciate the offer.”
“Okay.” He stared at the woman who, with a handful of signatures, had gone from his wife to a stranger. “Well. Have a good flight.”
“Thanks.” She leaned forward and brushed cool lips across his cheek, then turned and walked away.
Available on Amazon.
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Money Making Methods for the Modern Erotic Romance Author
Or me, in other words. I love writing, love my books, ADORE my readers to bits, and I’m very glad that my income is going up every year. But it’s still not what I would call a living wage, and so I subsidize my writing income with my other love — making stuff. Usually jewelry, but that also includes knitted and crocheted items, character dolls, and pretty much anything else that comes together on my workbench.
That jewelry that I usually offer on release days and FB parties? The stuff from Belaurient Arts? Yeah, that’s mine, and rather proud of it I am, too. And to ward off any complaints of, “Why are you making jewelry or knitting stuff when you should be writing?” be aware that doing this other stuff is actually part of my writing practice because while I’m beading a necklace or wire wrapping a cabochon or knitting a shawl I’m also telling myself stories to keep myself entertained, which then gets used when I sit at the keyboard.
Anyway, where was I going with this? Oh, yeah — a few days ago a friend of mine sent me a large wodge of jewelry odds and ends from his late mother’s belongings. (I love it when people do that. So far I’ve have three friends say, “I’ve got a buttload of beads and stuff that I’ll never use — you want them?” Why, yes, yes I do, thank you very much.) This particular treasure trove delivered some adorably kitschy items, one graduated bead necklace that I think is jade (it passes most of the surface tests but I’ll need to do a density test for sure), some nice 70’s style vintage earrings, and a bunch of odds and ends that have been tucked away in my racks of jewelry bits for future use. I was really, REALLY happy when I found these silver filigree clip-on earrings. Their rhinestones were long gone, but luckily my favorite rock and gem store have a very nice selection of rhinestones and I was able to reset them with capri blue square stones that look fabulous against the silver.
The other set that I was very pleased with was a pair of horn Celtic knots. They’d been wired with dull goldish beads through the knotholes, but the wire was steel and didn’t go with the warm tones of the horn at all. So I cut those off, drilled four holes in each necklace for gold eye pins (let me take a moment to thank Dremel for their awesome products which make this jewelry designer’s life a lot easier), wired up six 6mm tiger’s eye beads with fancy head pins and gold spacer beads, added those to the eye pins, hung everything on gold French ear wires, et voila — awesome earrings for people who like Celtic or tribal jewelry, natural materials, tiger’s eye, or any combination thereof. These would be perfect for someone who goes to Burning Man, I suspect.
So after putting a bunch of new pretties up at the Etsy site, I was rewarded with two sales of a combined five items, the payment for which goes into my How Nicola Is Going To Pay For RT Fund. And I still have to put a sterling silver and 14K gold tree of life pendant and a really nifty blue and bronze beaded necklace up tomorrow, as well. And then figure out where I’m going to get the stuff I need for a density test. And work on Cross Current, of course.
Speaking of the HNIGTPFRT Fund, Empress of Storms racked up a total of $514 dollars as of this evening, and if the current pattern holds true I may make $1K on it by the end of its first quarter. Not too shabby for a self-pubbed book in a genre I’d never tackled before, eh? Now if I could only sell the movie rights to Peter Jackson…
So far January is turning out to be rather nice
I’m happy to say that the first week of 2016 has been enjoyable around Casa Cameron. Ramón is still looking for work, which is a bit of a fly in the ointment, but he’s ridiculously talented and I have faith he’ll have a job toot sweet. He’s keeping busy with various electronics stuff in his Fortress of Solitude, and we’ve received shipments of arcane computing gear that have had him grinning in anticipation. I can’t tell if he’s building a quantum computer, a transporter, or a new machine for dispensing kitty kibble, but he’s busy and that’s all that matters.
In personal news, my buds Karl and Colby came to town on Monday and we wound up having beer and hard cider at Whole Foods (we were supposed to have lunch at Tallywackers but it’s closed on Mondays and the WF down the street had a mini bar area in their beer and wine section) with their friend and Colby’s traveling companion Oliver. Two hours of listening to details of Colby and Oliver’s new religion, Karl talking about his plans to make a documentary about women who like gay porn, M/M romance, and the like, and laughing like drains was wonderful.
On the writing front Empress of Storms continues to sell well, I’m back at work on Cross Current and Behind the Iron Cross, and I’m mulling over the plot for an Empress sequel. I have also purchased an absolutely ridiculous amount of yarn and have four projects going in the living room alone. Expect pictures of socks, shawls, and fingerless gloves in the very near future.
And to those fellow Eastern Orthodox folks who celebrate, Merry Christmas!
Welp, that’s it
Empress of Storms is officially in the black. As of today I’ve made $297.55, which pays off the production and promotion costs (which were $297.56, but I just made another sale according to Amazon so I figure that penny is covered).
And sales have been really picking up since December 5, as well — don’t know if that’s due to advertising, word of mouth, or what, but I’m damn grateful for it. According to Amazon, All Romance eBooks and Smashwords I’ve sold 204 units so far (won’t get reports from Smashwords’s associates for another quarter). The only way this could get any better would be if people left reviews on Amazon, Goodreads, etc. but that’s out of my hands (and it’s been a really busy month for a lot of people, too. Hopefully they’ll have more time in January).
Although I did get that five star review and top pick from Night Owl Reviews, bless them.
So yeah, 2015 is going out on a high note. Let’s see what 2016 has.
News about Breaker Zone and Empress of Storms
As of tonight, Breaker Zone is in the lead for Book of the Year at The TBR Pile (if you haven’t voted yet, there’s still time). For it to win 2015 Book of the Year would be utterly awesome, and I want to send a HUGE thank you to everyone who voted for it — you people rock so hard, you make AC/DC look like a garage band.
Now, switching gears: according to the three online vendors to which I have reporting access, Empress of Storms has earned back 100% of production costs and 95% of promotion costs (in less than two months, to boot). If I sell three copies tomorrow, it’s in the clear and everything after that goes into savings for RT in April.
So another thank you goes out to EVERYONE who’s bought a copy, left reviews, or asked me when the sequel is coming out (right now, that looks like summer 2016. I’m still noodling about the title, but remember that clever and dangerous prince from Illium that Flavia was pushing as a possible husband? He’s going to show up in Hellas with his sarcastic manservant and throw himself on Danaë’s mercy after one of his older brothers drops dead. Meanwhile, the Pauwels are continuing to make life difficult for Matthias, mainly by trying to get him to declare Luna as his heir since Danaë isn’t pregnant yet. And hijinks ensue!).
And of course I need to work on Cross Current (Olympic Cove 4), and there’s the Trickster sequel to finish, and I really want to do another story with Rory and Dmitri, and I wouldn’t mind doing a Bully Boys novel either.
But all that will happen in 2016. For now, you are all in the will, and I adore you to bitty pieces. MWAH!
Breaker Zone up for Book of the Year at The TBR Pile!
Calling all Breaker Zone fans! I just found out that book Two in the Olympic Cove series is up for Book of the Year over at The TBR Pile!
This is where you come in — I need you to go and vote for me. No registration is required, just a click of your mouse button. (Plus you would earn my undying gratitude by voting for me because the second half of this year has been sort of crap on the personal front and wining Book of the Year would do wonders for my peace of mind). So please go and vote for Breaker Zone, and I thank you for your support!
P.S. Empress of Storms has now paid off 100% of its production costs and 70% of its promotion costs. I may well break even before the end of the year — woohoo!
A look at the numbers behind Empress of Storms
As I sit here taking a break from Christmas preparations (today’s arts and crafts section included making 22 wired ribbon bows for the tree with on-sale Christmas ribbon, floral wire, hot glue, and the not really needed assistance of my cat Jemma. Still, 22 tree ribbons for $7.60 — BOOYAH), I decided to take a look at the sales figures for Empress. I’m very happy to note that it’s made sales every day, and it’s sold in the US, the UK, Canada, Germany, and Australia so far, which means my legion of readers is growing, muwahahahaha.
Then I got down to business and crunched numbers. My entire production cost for the ebook and print book was $120, and advertising, giveaways, tchotchkes et al racked up another $177.56. So far based on the numbers I’ve gotten from Amazon, All Romance eBooks and Smashwords (I can’t see numbers from Smashwords’s partners and won’t get those figures until February at the earliest) income from the book has completely paid for production and 42% of the marketing budget. Considering that I’ve never written high fantasy before in my life, Empress is an MF book so my MM readers probably aren’t going to be interested, and this is the first Nicola M. Cameron outing so those who don’t know me are taking a chance on a “new” author, I’m kinda pleased with this. Yes, it’s not a huge amount of money, but frankly Empress was, as Ramón put it, supposed to be a quota quickie, 
something I just did to win a challenge. It turned out to be way more popular than I expected, and more and more people are asking for sequels so I should be making more money once Book Two and Three are out in 2016.
Yes, there will be sequels. Yes, I’ll be finishing the Olympic Cove series as well. No, I’m not going to stop writing MM, just expand my horizon a little. And hey, I may even be writing some non-erotic SF novels in 2016 as well! Because sleep is for the weak, muwahahahahaha…
Okay, back to the decorating, tra la…
Sometimes, Google amuses me
I was looking recently for pictures of adorable kittens (I know, like those are so rare on the Internet) and ran a search on Google with the search parameters “cute kittens.”
I was extremely amused to see the following:
Well, I guess Sherlock and John do sorta qualify as cute kittens…
In other news Empress of Storms continues to sell briskly, I’m working on Iron Cross and Cross Current at the same time, and the Christmas cleaning has begun, selah.
Nicola Cameron Writes 