Recently I’ve been working on my speed and stamina while walking on the treadmill, and today I knocked out a full mile in a half hour. And yes, I know this is bubkes for a lot of people who regularly do marathons, but I’m a big broad with one artificial knee and one that will need to be replaced at some point so for me it’s an achievement.

Part of my impetus is friends of mine who just did a 10K at the RunDisney Springtime Surprise event. They really got me thinking about doing something similar, and right now my goal is to be able to do a 5K within an hour. A 5K, BTW, is 3.1 miles, which means if I walk/jog at a 3.1 MPH pace for an hour I will have finished the race in the allotted time.

But apparently most athletic people can do a 5K in 45 minutes, which translates to a 4.13 MPH walking/running pace. And because I’m an idiot and now know what a 2 MPH pace feels like, I got on the treadmill a few minutes ago and bumped up the speed to 4.1 just to see what it’s like.

I promptly tripped, hit my nose on the display board, and strained my arm muscles as I clung to the railings while dragging my feet over to the side rails before the damn treadmill fired me into the wall behind it. I’m sure it would have looked hilarious to anyone watching me. Unsurprisingly I have a nosebleed (although it’s pretty much stopped now) and I think I may have a mild case of whiplash, not to mention the strain in my upper arms.

So, yeah, that would have been a dumb way to die. I may be able to get up to that speed at some point but it is most definitely not going to happen any time soon.