83K Or Bust: Day Thirty-one through Thirty-four

surrenderthemanuscript(Image borrowed from the inimitable Rachel Caine.)

I’m not giving up.

Let me just get that out of the way right off the bat. I’m not giving up. I know I’m seriously behind, but I will make my deadline one way or the other.

I’ve been having anxiety dreams. Partially about the book, partially about the financial situation (briefly, Ramón was laid off and his last day is October 30. We have enough money to get us through November, but after that things will get dicey. He’s searching for a new job and is stressing about it, and I’m brushing off my tech writing CV in case he can’t find anything). A few nights ago I dreamed that we had to give our house back to the credit union and take over this horrible little apartment that was falling apart at the seams. This is a recurring anxiety dream of mine, and I always stand there staring at rotting walls wondering how I’m going to make the place livable, much less bearable. A friend of mine went through this over a year ago when he was kicked out of his apartment because his landlord wanted to gentrify the property. He handled it with immense and astounding grace, turning it into an art project and giving away all of his things before setting off on the road to conduct another massive art project around the US and Canada. I just have anxiety dreams and eat more carbohydrates than are good for me.

Needless to say, I have not been waking up full of the creative spirit and raring to write. At this point, writing a novel is a marathon anyway, and the stress on top of it isn’t that conducive to writing prose. And I have also been spending a certain amount of time reassuring Ramón, copyediting his CV, listening to job descriptions and agreeing that yes, he could do that, and generally being a good and supportive wife. Because that’s what you do when you love someone and want to take some of the burden off them and help as much as possible. Especially since, bless him, he doesn’t want me to go back to an office job if I don’t have to. And I appreciate the hell out of that, but if it’s the only way to get income in the house, back to contract tech writing I go.

We’ll get through this, by the way–no need to do a GoFundMe or anything. It’s a crappy time of year to be laid off, but if we can struggle through to January we should be okay (we live in a tech corridor, lots of jobs going in the new year, etc.).

So, yeah, I’m behind. But I’m still planting my ass in the chair everyday and writing. I’m down to Act III and the last three chapters, then I do the world’s fastest rewrite and get it off to my betas and send them quality chocolate for the fastest beta review in the world. And on October 31st, we shall see what we shall see.

Today’s stats:

Started With: 61,322 words
Wrote: 6,665 words
Total word count: 67,987 words
What else did you do today, Nicola: Cat chores, laundry, did a humongous food shop that will feed us for weeks, made Italian wedding soup for dinner, edited a couple versions of Ramón’s CV, and wondered if anyone had ever done a crossover fic of Doctor Who and Outlander. Basically because I’d love to see Twelve wandering through Castle Leoch with Clara in tow saying, “Ooh, you think you can out-Scottish me, laddie! I’d like to see ye try!”

Writing Tips: Stress fucks with writing. It’s just a fact. It’s hard to write good prose when your stomach is tied up in knots and you’re wondering how you’re going to pay the bills/what the pathology report will say/etc. Or you’re the support system for someone who is going through a very stressful time and needs you to step up to the plate for them. If you can make yourself write during this time, congratulations. You have a will of adamantium and I salute you. If you can’t, that’s not surprising and for God’s sake don’t beat yourself up over it.

About nicolacameronwrites

Nicola Cameron has had some interesting adventures in her life -- ask her sometime about dressing up as Tietania, Queen of the Bondage Fairies. When not writing, she wrangles cats, makes dolls of dubious and questionable identity, and thanks almighty Cthulhu that she doesn’t have to work for a major telecommunications company any more (because there’s BDSM, and then there’s just plain torture...).

Posted on October 24, 2015, in Empress of Storms, Writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on 83K Or Bust: Day Thirty-one through Thirty-four.

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