Oh, Look, It’s Monday Again
Crystal Blade Episode 29: Hello, Grandmother is live at Kindle Vella. No, don’t thank me—noblesse oblige, don’t you know.
Oh, I am tired as hell. We had quite the loud storm roll through around 4 AM, so loud that neither Ramón nor I could sleep through it. He gave up and went into his office to do a little work while I kept the J Crew company and reassured them that they were safe, Thor didn’t hate them, and the sky was just growling.
Net result: no damage, no hail, some rain but that was about it. Unfortunately, in the process of opening the door to check on things I must have let some mosquitos in because I have been bitten in at least six places, all on my right thigh and, ahem, bikini area.
Ow. Did I mention ow?
I don’t even know how the hell the mosquitos accessed one particular spot, but they did. Luckily we have a really great anti-itch gel but still, not the most enjoyable place for skeeter bites. And I’m tired, and my left leg is still experiencing a bit of sciatica pain, and it’s going to be humid as hell here this week. Whee.
I Am Confused
According to Weather Underground we were supposed to get thunderstorms this evening, then it was changed to tomorrow. About an hour ago the sky got Very Interesting and I moved the truck behind the garage (car’s already in the garage). Tornado siren’s gone off once, most likely due to the tornado in Lewisville, and I’m keeping an eye on radar for round two which should hit us in a half hour or so.
Could be so much worse—looks like Richardson and south Dallas got hammered. Late spring in Texas, whee!
In the meantime I decided I also wanted to relax a bit (yeah, I know—relaxing while watching the radar? I am nothing if not an engima wrapped up in a contradiction smothered in creamy sauce), so I cued up the theatrical release version of Earthquake on Netflix.
*blink*blink*
Up until now the only version I’d ever seen was the one edited for TV. I’m not going to pick on the SFX—they were state of the art at the time, and as the animated blood zooming out at the screen when an elevator plummets to the bottom of its shaft, well, it probably made sense at the time.
But what I found truly hilarious was the idea that Lorne Greene (born in 1915) could play the father of Ava Gardner (born in 1922). Ava played Charlton Heston’s wife and they were similar ages so that worked, but why not hire something a little more appropriate in age to play her dad? I understand the need for suspension of disbelief but kids, that stretched it to the snapping point.
Also, if someone could explain why Geneviève Bujold was hired as Chuck’s young widowed love interest I would really appreciate it because 1) she seemed bored out of her mind most of the time and 2) I’ve seen more chemistry in a salt solution than between Chuck and her.
Pluses and Minuses
On the plus side, I just paid off the work we had done on the downstairs AC unit last month. And it’s still working, which is good because we’re about to go into the Hell Months down here in the clavicle of Texas.
On the minus side, that pretty much drained my bank account and next week will have to be absolutely minimal with regards to any purchases, including food. Luckily I was raised working class and shopping cheap is part of my DNA (why do you think I’m so good at making and fixing things? I’m too damn cheap to pay for artisans and repair people), but despite all these claims I hear that inflation is easing I haven’t seen a damn price drop on anything except for maybe gas.
On the plus side we will have enough to eat and enough food for the J Crew. Mortgage and bills are covered, there’s gas in both our tanks. If an emergency comes up, we have credit cards. It’ll just be a lean week. No biggie.
On the minus side my stupid brain panics at times like this and wants to buy All The Things. Which I will not allow to happen. Which means I will not be looking at any online shopping site until next Friday for mental health reasons.
I really should clean out my office closet. That should keep me distracted for days…
My Brain Is Weird
Crystal Blade Episode 28: Happy Father’s Day is live at Kindle Vella. Go forth and enjoy the start to the weekend.
I can tell that I’m falling into a rut. My dreams are all about organization and setting things up, which makes it very obvious in the morning that I’m boring myself silly.
Part of it is that there’s not a whole hell of a lot of differentiation in my days, and won’t be until I get all the books reformatted and published wide. I wake up, feed the cats, get to work on Crystal Blade, then switch over to formatting once I get the day’s word count in. Somewhere in between all that I do my time on the treadmill, go out to the store and pick up necessities, make dinner, cook and clean, and if the weather is bearable in the garage do some jewelry work.
And that is hella better than it could be—I’m grateful to have to freedom to do all that. But it’s also the same stuff day in and day out, and that’s not good from a creative standpoint. I need to refill the creative well with … I don’t know, something. New experiences, new places, something to get my imagination working again.
What I really need is a vacation. Which will be a possibility this year if this contract work comes through. In the meantime, I need to find little ways to break up the day and have some fun. If you have any suggestions, leave them in the comments.
A Mixed Bag
While events on the political spectrum have surprised and delighted me today (and I suspect that somewhere in the afterlife there is one majorly uncomfortable intake interview being done right now), I’ve also learned that someone I knew from Tulsa fandom has died of colon cancer, and a dear friend’s beloved pet has Large Cell Lymphoma (the same kind that my lovably neurotic cat Jordan had) and has a limited amount of time left.
So first off, fuck cancer. Secondly, remember to kiss your loved ones, both human and otherwise, and tell them how important they are to you. Thirdly, get all your necessary tests—boob squishes, cameras up the pooper, whatever is necessary. I know I’m now at the age where losing people and pets is going to happen more and more often, and eventually someone will be posting here about my departure as well (hopefully my nephew Mike, because if it’s Ramón I don’t think anyone will be able to parse “pound your fists in despair repeatedly on the keyboard”). But I’d like to hold all of that off as long as reasonably possible.
In other news I’ll be putting the finishing touches on Crystal Blade Ep 28 after dinner and getting that ready for posting, then I have to go back to formatting Cross Current for wide release. Getting 5-6 hours of sleep a night due to a sciatica attack making me want to cut my leg off has really cut into my work time, yanno?
Bluenoses At the ‘Zon
Crystal Blade Episode 27: Eureka! is live at Kindle Vella. You know the drill.
I have noticed something fascinating with Kindle Vella. As you know, Bob, some of my stuff can get rather steamy and Episode 26 was one of those zesty episodes. I named it Down Mexico Way because that is an amusing nickname for the activity that happened in the episode (and if you don’t know what the term refers to I suggest you read the episode and find out).
Usually when I post an episode, it gets approved within a couple of hours and goes live. But when I posted Down Mexico Way it took a full eight hours to get approved. I then had to edit it slightly (wound up adding a bit to the last paragraph that I needed to delete and move to Episode 27), and resubmitted it. It took another eight hours to get approved. When you release episodes on Vella you are warned that they can take up to 72 hours to be released, presumably so that if a reviewing bot stumbles across something “questionable” in the ep it can be put in a holder until a human reviewer can get to it). I can only assume that either the reviewer bots know what “Down Mexico Way” means or found some key naughty words in the episode that caused them to put it on the, “Yeah, we need a grownup here” list.
Which is good to know for future episodes because there will be more zesty scenes coming up in Crystal Blade. Being aware that it will take at least eight hours for them to be released gives me a more accurate timeline of when I should click the Publish button.
By the way, I’m not complaining about the extra hold. I’m playing in the ‘Zon’s sandbox and I have to abide by their rules, and they will not publish anything that contains certain verboten topics (and with good reason) so they need to check what’s published through them. But it amuses me that some human had to spot check my little episode of languissement.
Looking Like a Tax-Paying Citizen
So today I put on some nice clothes and a bit of makeup because I was heading into the main branch of my bank to open a business bank account for Belaurient. As it turns out they don’t actually handle business accounts (aka ones with DBAs attached) but they could create a separate checking and savings account for me that would be linked to my main account.
Since I have my EIN for reporting tax income I figured that would be good enough (I don’t have my LLC yet anyway) and sat down with Heather to discuss scrapbooking and Daiso while she created my accounts and deposited a bit of money in each to keep them open. She also set up survivor access on all my accounts so that if anything ever happens to me Ramón will have instant access to my money (I already handle his bank account so I don’t need that).
Now that I have the business account set up, I can go ahead and start a business PayPal account. I was thinking of routing my Amazon/Smashwords/Google Play income directly to the business account but 1) the ‘Zon has been having enough problems with getting KDP payments out on time and I do not want to break any links right now, and 2) I don’t have to pay state income tax on those sales because it’s already collected and submitted by the sellers. I do have to pay state income tax on any material items I sell myself, however, so I think it’s best to keep the business accounts strictly for that, and I can transfer the federal tax slice of my A/S/G payments into the Belaurient savings account for quarterly tax payments (I’m doing that anyway with my personal savings account so it won’t be any more work).
And I know, this must be absolutely fascinating to you. Thing is, I’m detailing all this for people who are thinking of getting into indie publishing (or frankly any sort of side hustle) so that they don’t let the business side of the job slide. Get an EIN, set up an LLC or similar, get a separate bank/PayPal/Venmo account to handle the business money, and hire a good accountant who knows all the tax loopholes. It’s a lot of work in the beginning, but in the end you’ll be glad you did it.
Stupid Body Tricks
Crystal Blade Episode 26: Down Mexico Way is live at Kindle Vella. If you enjoy spice, you’ll like this one.
Meanwhile, my left leg is acting up and the knee is hurting like a complete bitch due in part to 1) osteoarthritis, 2) what I think is a sciatica attack, and 3) the mondo hella rainstorm we had in the wee hours of the morning, so I didn’t really get to sleep until 5:00 AM and didn’t get up until noon. This neatly screwed up my plans for the day to go to the main branch of my bank and get my business checking and savings account started. I’ll have to do that tomorrow.
And yes, it is nice that I have the freedom to sleep in if I need it, but I also work every hour the Flying Spaghetti Monster sends so there are tradeoffs, believe me. With luck and a handful of NSAIDs I should be able to get to sleep early tonight, which will let me head out in the morning and hit the bank. Once that’s done, I can start the business PayPal account, and then I can start selling signed books from the website.
I’m also looking into ways to use the Silhouette to brand the boxes. It’s a little extra work, true, but readers really like having the decorated boxes and it’s only an afternoon’s worth of work to print out and apply the decals to a stack of boxes. If nothing else it give me an excuse to play with the Silhouette and make some more magnetic book marks to add to the books as swag.
I Have So Much Stuff
*rubs mouth* I have been doing my best this year to finish craft projects and get them out the door to the intended recipients or put away in other parts of the house. But somehow my office closet is still full to the brim with bags of projects, two enormous storage containers full of fabric, a serger, boxes of tools, musical instruments, a high shelf full of financial records stretching back seven years, pillows for when visitors need to sleep in my office, and my really cool swashbucker hat.
I thought I was doing pretty well on Swedish Death Cleaning but clearly I have to get on my stick about this because damn. I don’t have any more time this weekend but next weekend I need to pull everything out of the closet, go through it piece by piece, reorganize the shelves and cubbies, and make some hard decisions about letting stuff go. I have sufficient room in that closet and my office in general. I just have to arrange it all in the most efficient manner.
In the meantime the J Crew have been taking turns peeking inside the office while I’ve been walking back and forth with my hands full muttering to myself. They like to sleep there when the bedroom door is closed, but I think even they realize that this is not the time to bother Mom.
I Should Be Writing
Instead, I am going through my office and giving it a medium clean which it desperately needs. For me, medium clean means putting everything away, dusting the surfaces, and vacuuming. (Granted, the office also needs a deep clean, but I need a cruise so nobody’s getting what they need right now.)
Why am I doing this instead of writing? Basically, because I work better in a clean environment. I get distracted when I see crap scattered around me and it’s hard to get into the headspace to write. It’s easier to take a weekend, clean and reorganize everything, and start fresh on Monday.
Of course, in the progress of my medium clean I had to put a lot of stuff back into my office closet. All that did was remind me how badly I want to pull everything out of there and build custom shelves and cubbies that would be more useful for me. Right now it’s a standard bedroom closet layout and I don’t need hanger poles—I do need shelves sized to hold storage boxes, equipment, and other writing and jewelry stuff.
Just have to keep selling books and jewelry so that I can pay for the overhaul, right?
Nicola Cameron Writes 